My belief is that hope, is what has led you to me—
whether to this site, to my office, or to an eventual conversation.
Hope.
Perhaps it's hope for pain-reduction—for freedom from shame, anxiety, depression, guilt, fear, rage, confusion, grief. Perhaps hope for closer, more intimate, long-lasting relationships. Perhaps, hope, for meaning and authenticity and purpose and connection and surveillance of why you are constantly doing the things that you don't want to do,
but
cannot
help
but do.
Or, perhaps it's possible you're not sure why you're even here. What is the point? Is therapy worth the time and the money and the parking and the unease and the sacrifice? Does therapy even work? Who is Michael Louderback, anyway? Who cares?
It is my belief that you do, actually.
That you, care.
And it is my belief that there is a hope buried deep—underneath all the questions, underneath all of the fear, underneath all of the unease, underneath all of the skepticism, under the pain, yes, deeper still—within your own heart. It is my belief that in these inner chambers there is a hope, leading you. Maybe without you even realizing it.
Hope leading forward and toward and outward and inward, for all sorts of things. For care, for recognition, for growth, for understanding, for change.
hope.
hope.
hope.
For a better narrative, a better routine, a better life, a better love, a better existence, a better mind. A better relationship to yourself, and to others. Because that's what most—if not all—of life boils down to, doesn't it? Relationship.
my philosophy is
Everything is relational
& everything matters.
But simultaneously, there's another force at work within you, within us, isn't there? My belief is that dread is also at play. Because hope is one of the most expensive things. Creating and sustaining a life that is beautiful, that matters, that is intentional and relational feels to be a weight that the average person cannot bear. An existence that is understood is a daunting task; it's too much. At least that's what dread tells you. That it's not possible. Yet, hope says it is. So, which is it?
It's both.
Of course it's both. This being human is so much more complicated than we want it to be, than we want to allow to be, isn't it? Hope and dread, both. Even between the two, there is a relationship is there not? Even between the two, a conversation; ideas, thoughts, beliefs.
Which leads me to the art of therapy; which leads me to my belief of therapy. Therapy is all of these paradoxes, practiced. Observed. Welcomed. Participated in. Curiously engaged. Therapy is an unfolding understanding of the way these things and more show up in your life. Whether consciously, or unconsciously. The way they hold you down, or get you stuck, or ruin your relationships, or keep you from living the kind of life you want.
Therapy is about freedom; it's about truth; it's about care; it's about discovery.